As I’m currently sat writing this at 7am form my hotel room in LA, I woke up with jet lag about 2 hours ago and thought ‘I know, I’m going to be productive and use this time to get a few blog posts written’ quickly followed by the inner me asking ‘what do I want to write about?’ And that is where I got a little stuck and am typing these words hoping that something will come to me, any….second….now.
12 hours later and a lengthy conversation with one of my best friends I have decided that rather than write a blog post about a pretty dress (which is featured in this post and is most certainly a VERY pretty dress) I’m going to discuss something that actually connects a lot stronger to me and I have learnt relates to more people than I realised just from bringing it up in casual conversation with my friends. I am 28 years old, to some of you this may seem old (I have a strong dislike for those of you with this opinion!) but the point of mentioning my age is because when I was younger I thought that by the time I was in my mid 20s I would have everything figured out. I didn’t necessarily expect to get married or have children because that involves the path of someone else's life too but in terms of having my own shit together I thought I would have it nailed and be drifting through life with hopefully a great career, loving family and friends and feel settled in the person I am. Do I have a great career that I’m proud of? Yes. Do I have loving friends and family around me? Absolutely yes. Am I settled in the person that I am? 100 % NOT. In the last year or soI have come to a junction in my life and my built in navigation system doesn’t know which route I should continue from now onwards.
"I thought that by the time I was in my mid 20s I would have everything figured out"
If you’re thinking ‘why the hell am I reading about your GPS Danielle?!’ Then it is because I want to give you a heads up that if you haven’t experienced this then you will, so I guess this is a warning and if you have or are currently in a similar situation then you’re not on your own but also that I have found a few ways in which I can find some clarity in certain areas of my life to help me in navigating through the next few years until it becomes habit and I’m riding high on life and all of its waves.
"...it is important for me to fit in the things that mean something to me..."
I have certain things that make me really happy, other things that make me not so happy but that I still have to do, now as obvious as it sounds I actively make sure that I get the not so fun things done so that I can literally spend as long as I want on the things that I truly enjoy and want to do. As someone who has very little routine in her life it is important for me to fit in the things that mean something to me otherwise I could easily get swept up in life and find myself bogged down with the things that I know I have to do but don’t fill me with joy. That is actually one of the reasons I started talking more about my fitness and active lifestyle. Doing classes and being active makes me happy and keeps me sane so I now share my tips and tricks with you guys in case you could also find a form of refuge in exercises - as well as the fact that one day your body will most probably start to change in a way that you don’t like so by starting working out now you’re going to delay the effects of this happening. Win.
Talk It Through
I wish I had discussed things with my friends and family earlier. I had been struggling a little internally for a while and would sit up at night writing things down on how I thought I should approach life but it was;t until I started talking to those who not only know me really well but also have a different outlook on life I learned so many more things about it. A massive credit has to go to my boyfriend who has definitely answered the phone to hearing me cry one too many times and always manages to turn what I think is a huge negative into a positive. It can literally be the way you look at something that changes everything, so talk to someone as I would put money on the fact that you will feel better, or at least hear a different opinion which will therefore help you in deciding what you want to do.
"...life is going to continue happening anyway...you have absolutely nothing to lose..."
Chill The F**k Out
Like, literally. Unless something so severe is happening to you and you’re genuinely going through a traumatic time, nothing is worth getting so caught up over. Life is going to continue happening either way and you have absolutely nothing to lose by just taking a deep breath and counting to 10 but you could gain a whole new perspective and the ability to get through another day without feeling like everything around you is crashing in. I have sat and cancelled a whole day of meetings before because I have been in such a state that I didn’t think I would be able to go and discuss business things - then I started to try and tell my brain that all I had to do was breathe and take 5 minutes and I soon realised that it was all I needed in order to continue with my day (and that I had a lot of cancelled meetings to make up for!)
If all else fails, pack your stuff, hop on a plane and head towards a desert island. I JOKE. (Kind of - because a holiday also never did any harm!) I guess what I’m trying to say in summary is that it is inevitable that you’re going to have crap times and they will pop up where you least expect it. They won’t necessarily appear off the back of a relationship break down or because you’ve recently got bad grades in school or college, you could be striving in so many areas of your life and then BAM a chemical imbalance happens in your brain - yes that’ literally what it is, chemistry lessons ruined my life at school - and now its trying its turn on my brain now I’m an adult. And that’s OK, it can try, it can even sometimes succeed for a short amount of time, but for as long as I know what I need to do to deal with it, I will forever be in control of it and eventually be able to figure things out and continue to try and take on the world, one little Danielle Day at a time.
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